Much to my chagrin, I have received word from command that my sidearm is to be decommissioned for the remainder of our current campaign.
My frustrations mount as I read in the penny press that many are calling for General Charles to begin employing a questionable new "tank" weaponry on the battlefield. These misguided souls expect that such a strategy will allow us to replentish our regimen with fresh recruits after the coming winter.
I say we must steel our resolve, and fight to the very end! Accordingly, I propose that our citizenry take to the promotion of the local good, working together to relieve a common ill.
I have identified one such cause: finding a cure and ending the malady that impacts more men than any other consumption known. To raise awareness on the topic, I encourage the local gentry to allow their facial hair to grow unchecked through the end of the month.
One in eight men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer — more than 161,000 throughout the U.S. this year alone. Someone dies because of the disease every 20 minutes.
This November, we're putting down the razor and picking up the cause by participating in the Grow & Give campaign with ZERO - The End of Prostate Cancer. Together, we can end the suffering of prostate cancer, but we need your support.
Join our team! Your participation will help raise awareness and your donation will help fund research, patient programs that go directly to helping men and their families, free testing, and educational programs.
Support our team today! You'll feel proud knowing that you're helping keep families together and saving lives.